If you’ve struggled with infertility for a long time, it’s highly likely that you’ve at least looked into or thought about seeking alternative routes. Whether it’s adoption, gestational surrogacy, or the use of an egg donor, these are all viable options you could turn to. As you make your decision, one question that may bother you the most is whether or not to tell your child that he was either born via a third-party or he’s not genetically related to his siblings or parents.
Many professionals will inform you that it’s better for your child in the long run if he knows that he’s not genetically related to one or both of his parents early on in his life. Here are a few reasons why you should tell your child about how he was conceived:
Secrets: Secrets in families can be very damaging. For one thing, secrets rarely last forever. Therefore, your secret will eventually come out one day. It could be when your child has a medical emergency and the doctors need to know his family medical history. Or it could just accidentally slip out one day. You never know when the secret may come out and completely overwhelm your child.
Adoption: There have been numerous studies about how children given up for adoption fare better if they know about it earlier on. It helps them have a sense of where they come from and how much their parents really wanted them in their lives.
Betrayal: Children are quite smart, and they get even smarter with age. They can often sense if there’s a big secret. And, if they sense that the secret is about them, they’ll likely assume the worst, causing them to feel bad about themselves. And, when that secret inevitably comes out, your child will feel a sense of betrayal towards you and everyone who knew about it.
So, save your family a lot of heartache in the future and plan on telling your child about where he came from early on. Your child will appreciate your honesty and your willingness to trust him to be mature enough to handle it.